The ticking clock and the soul

May 20, 2013 by 2 Comments

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For the first time in my life I feel old. I feel washed out and in need of renewal.

Renewal, a new beginning, a new life.

I am struggling to bounce back into life after a long struggle with health issues and the death of my dog which in itself shouldn’t affect me as it has.

I wonder what my future holds? Do I  keep on pushing on or do I give in to the fatigue of life and wait to die?

What is bugging me? Is it really the blight of old age or ill health?

Or could it be I am in the throws of  depression for a life not yet lived ?

My soul is waiting for me to listen.

I have lost touch with my soul and my creative process. It is creativity that feeds the soul of a writer.

And as the clock ticks, I need to take action, prioritise my dreams and feel the fears of a late life crisis.

 

Filed Under: Mental Health, Personal Tagged With: , , , ,

We need to talk: 7 ways to master successful dialogue with your therapist

January 4, 2013 by Leave a Comment

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Talking to each other is something that we do every day of our lives. It is something that we take for granted and pay little heed to.

But the power of words in dialogue with another can change lives.

How many meaningful conversations do you have each day?  By meaningful I mean conversations that have significantly improved your personal wellbeing.

Psychotherapy is a talking therapy that is all about improving your personal wellbeing by building and deepening your understanding of self and others.

In psychotherapy, dialogue is a tool for exploration and through this exploration a channel of meaning emerges that is shared by the therapist and the client.

The relationship between you and your therapist is built in an atmosphere of trust and confidentiality where you both can become your authentic selves.

7 ways to master successful dialogue with your therapist

1)    Be authentic.

2)    Talk about what’s important.

3)    Ask questions.

4)    Listen.

5)    Be open.

6)    Be prepared to be take responsibility for yourself.

7)    Reflect

A good dialogue is the key to successful therapy. A good dialogue requires commitment, integrity, authenticity and collaboration from both you and your therapist.

Photo: Liber

 

 

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Clear the Decks for Writing

January 4, 2013 by Leave a Comment

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Hi all,

I am still in holiday mode. But now it is time to settle back in my writing routine. First I need to clear the decks for writing.

Billy Collins wrote a great poem about this:

Advice To Writers

Even if it keeps you up all night
wash down the walls and scrub the floor
of your study before composing a syllable.
Clean the place as if the Pope were on his way.
Spotlessness is the niece of inspiration.
The more you clean, the more brilliant
your writing will be, so do not hesitate to take
to the open fields to scour the undersides
of rocks or swab in the dark forest
upper branches, nests full of eggs.
When you fiind your way back home
and stow the sponges and brushes under the sink,
you will behold in the light of dawn
the immaculate altar of your desk,
a clean surface in the middle of a clean world.
From a small vase, sparkling blue, lift
a yellow pencil, the sharpest of the bouquet,
and cover pages with tiny sentences
like long rows of devoted ants
that followed you in from the woods.

From: “Sailing Alone Around the Room”

I don’t think I will take to scrubbing the floors all night long, but yes I really do need to clean and clear the clutter before I can settle down to write.

Clearing the clutter in your office will clear the clutter in your psyche and help you prepare to write.

Our homes and our psyches are linked. Does clutter kill your creativity?

 

 

 

 

Filed Under: Writing Tips Tagged With: , , ,

How toxic is your family? 6 Powerful strategies to deal with your family and keep your sanity this Christmas.

December 24, 2012 by Leave a Comment

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How are the folks? Does the thought of spending time with your family this Christmas fill you with dread?

Christmas is supposed to be all about good will and love and all that stuff isn’t it? 

Ho! Ho! Ho! Who forgot the bloody mistletoe?

Relationships with parents, children, ex husbands, mothers-in-law etc. can be tricky at the best of times, but at this time of year when you are all flung together and expected to perform at your best; Christmas day is often a big disappointment for everyone.

Longstanding problems and unpleasant experiences with family members are hard to dispel or resolve even with the Christmas spirit. It’s not going to be all love and kisses just by sharing a meal or downing a few bottles of the good stuff.

Past issues often spill over into the present, with toxic family members resorting to unpleasant, undermining comments to spoil your day.

Is your family toxic? If you are brimming over with anger, self- justification and resentment it probably is.

Families can be toxic in various ways.

 Signs of toxicity include:

  • Sarcastic comments housed in humour or in the guise of ‘caring about you.’
  • Funny insults.
  • The negative ‘innocent ‘ remarks.
  • The putdowns.
  • Openly nasty comments.

Most of these toxic backhanded remarks have double meanings that leave you feeling confused and invalidated. And blatantly ‘out there’ attacks leave you feeling, hurt, tense, uncomfortable, and bad about yourself.  You may even find yourself resorting to similar toxic tactics, so that you can redress the balance of power back to you.

But that is not conducive to the spirit of Christmas or your sanity, so what do you do?

A Christian perspective might be  ‘to forgive’ but for many who have suffered at the hands of toxic families this is not always a viable first option. Whilst forgiveness can help you to move forward with your life and give you the freedom to let go of pain, it is not something that is easy to do when the damage done has hurt you irrevocably.

A more realistic approach might be ‘acceptance.’ Acceptance does not involve the resolution of a past hurt as forgiveness does. Acceptance is a more realistic approach that does not seek to be correct or lay blame.

Accept your family just as they are, flawed and damaged in their own humanity and   don’t forget to accept yourself also.

Self- acceptance is a huge gift that you can give yourself.

Acceptance is a first step towards understanding how you and they came to be.

And whilst you are trying to be more accepting of your family and yourself, here are some strategies that may help you keep your sanity this Christmas.

 6 Powerful strategies to help you deal with your toxic family this Christmas.

1)    Smile – even when you don’t feel like it. A smile and laughter is infectious. Your family may think you’re crazy but that’s ok!

2)    Focus on you and not on them. What would you like to do that gives you pleasure?

3)    Respond warmly to positive comments.

4)    Ignore negative comments.

5)    Offer genuine compliments, even if they are hard to conjure up.

6)    Be aware of your own behavior. Try not to let toxic comments trigger you into an overreaction.

These strategies are a start in the way you respond to your toxic family. They will help you survive Christmas Day.

As you try to develop a more accepting nature towards your family, you may be able to recognise, in a more objective way that the problem that you see with them could also be with you.

You can choose to accept your family as they are today and still enjoy Christmas despite them. As you change your attitude towards them, they may or may not change in response to you. Whatever happens, that is ok.

What I do know is that if you attach your own happiness and peace of mind based on the behavior of others you will never be happy.

 When you change the focus of your thoughts away from your family onto you, your demands of them will lessen and your complaints about them will disappear. You will be more accepting and less judgmental.  You will be able to communicate with them less defensively and any love that you may feel for them will be more genuine and unconditional.

If you can just accept them as they are, however difficult and demanding they may be, then you free yourself up to be responsible for your own sanity this Christmas.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Filed Under: Personal Development Tagged With: , , , , ,

Understanding Psychotherapy: a window to the soul

December 22, 2012 by Leave a Comment

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“ The unconscious sends all sorts of vapors, odd beings, terrors and deluding images up into the mind-whether in dream, broad daylight, or insanity: for the human kingdom, beneath the floor of the comparatively neat little dwelling that we call our consciousness goes down into unsuspected Aladdin caves”

Joseph Campbell  (The Hero with a thousand faces)

Psychotherapy is a talking therapy. It is a dialogue which a client shares with his therapist. Out of this dialogue a professional relationship develops that will help the client understand and explore his feelings, actions, reactions, perceptions, and thoughts  so that he can begin to heal. The key to healing is the client becoming aware of how his patterns of behavior that stem from the past are acting out in his life in the present.

The relationship with the  therapist is an important part of psychotherapy. He or she provides a confidential safe space where  unconscious patterns of your mind can be brought into consciousness, worked through and resolved.

Psychotherapy is a unique, individual  journey for everyone  and  very much depends on the interaction between client and therapist.

Psychotherapy is not about being given advice, it is more that you  are the expert on your own life. The therapist guides you into realising  your own desires and regrets.

Psychotherapy is a process whereby the therapist helps you to accept, value and appreciate your own life. And very often the relationship between therapist and client is the therapy.

The Purpose and Power of Psychotherapy

The purpose of psychotherapy is to help you understand, accept and love yourself a little more so that you are not at the mercy of unconscious forces that are leading you to experience discontent and misery.

The power of psychotherapy is that is respects your freedom to confront your pain and reach into its’ essence. By reaching down into the depths of your unconscious and into the heart of your soul you will find a golden key which will unlock the door of your pain.

 Psychotherapy in Australia

Psychotherapy has embarked on a sea-change that is gaining popularity and growing within Australia today. Contemporary psychotherapy is no longer the work of just one man. Whilst Freud provides a foundational benchmark from which most ‘talking therapies’ are derived, today’s pluralistic, psychotherapeutic communities have expanded and revised and challenged many of Freud’s original ideas.

Contemporary relational psychotherapy has evolved out of America within a movement of dissatisfaction away from classical Freudian psycho- analysis. It has been driven by the demands of clients who seek to relate to a real person who works more visibly and openly and is essentially ‘more human’ where the therapist is open to revealing more of himself in order to formulate a more ‘real’ relationship.

 Case Studies

Mary, once a gregarious and fun loving person fell foul to a multitude of ill health and operations that left her feeling betrayed by the medical profession, abandoned by close friends and isolated within the community and in her mind.

She tells me she is depressed and her antidepressants don’t work. They only make her feel zoned out all the time. Life holds no joy for her anymore. When she feels at her worst, she calls me and the wail of pain catches in her throat and she almost chokes. A train-load of  chaotic emotions that shc cannot explain come tumbling out into the airways in a desperate hope of some relief.

“ I’m not mad, what do I need psychotherapy for ?” asked a lady who seemed quite taken a back at the suggestion that psychotherapy might help her depression and anxiety issues.

And yet people who seek psychotherapy these days are not necessarily any more mentally sick than those who do not. They are just more willing to explore themselves, to take a journey inside and face their demons so that they can feel better.

“ I’ve had enough of talking” said Dave, a young man in his early thirties, “ talking doesn’t help me.” Dave’s marriage has broken down and he has talked and talked about the situation with his wife, friends and family yet it has not helped him heal his marriage or his pain. And he is reluctant to seek help. He says he will deal with it on his own. He is not the only one.

The trouble with Dave’s approach is that he is not talking to a professional about his pain. He needs to talk to a neutral therapist who would be able to help him in a more objective and professional manner than his family or friends could.

Many people are prepared to seek help for their physical ailments but when they are suffering mentally they fail to act. Human beings have a tendency to fear the unfamiliar and to be anxious about something that they only have a vague idea about.

Psychotherapy is surrounded by a myriad of myths as a depressive society seeks to ease its pain by either succumbing to alcohol and chemical substances or preferring to keep silent. Rather than talking out about pain,  many people would sooner bury it deep within themselves and suffer.

They might be successful in burying their pain for a while but it will come back up to haunt them at the most inappropriate times.

We are a pill popping society. It would seem that the majority of people think that in order to deal with the realities of life, and subsequent mental problems, taking pills prescribed by the doctor is often the quickest and most effective cure for pain.

Numerous medications, legally available, are swallowed by the mentally ill  every day. And yet medications, whilst sometimes necessary, fail to deal with the origins of distress.

Medication masks the distress and fails to see the person behind the symptoms. So whilst antidepressants and anxiety medications are necessary for some, there is another more potent way to deal with mental distress.

Recent research from The American Psychological Association( Sept. 2012) shows that the effects of psychotherapy are often comparable or better than the effects produced by drug treatments for the same mental distress.

Melba J. T. Vasques, PhD who is the past president of The American Psychological Association, states that “ Every day, consumers are bombarded with ads that drugs are the answer to their problems. Our goal is to help consumers weigh those messages with research-based information about how psychotherapy can provide them with safe, effective and long lasting improvements in their mental and physical health.”

A key finding of the research states that “ Psychotherapy teaches patients life skills that last beyond the course of the treatment. The results of psychotherapy tend to last longer than psychopharmacological treatments and rarely produces harmful side effects.”

A booming pharmacological industry is not more important than the health and well being  of  the  mentally ill  who look to the ‘experts’  to heal their pain. It is important that people  are educated about alternative therapies such as psychotherapy so that they can make a more informed decision about their mental health care.

For some, therapy is not something that they wish to do either because they are scared or sceptical as to whether they can be helped.

But for others psychotherapy is a powerful, transformative, experience which has changed their lives beyond recognition.

What is the biggest obstacle holding you back right now? Are you suffering from depression, anxiety or fear?

Maybe you are suffering from a relationship breakdown or a problem at work?  Or maybe you are having problems in relating to other people?

What ever it is, if it is stuffing up your life then you owe it to yourself to do something about it.

If you think that psychotherapy might be worth the effort, shop around for a therapist. You are not obliged to stay with the first one you see.

Indeed it is preferable that you find a therapist that you feel comfortable with as you will not be able to discuss personal and intimate issues with someone you do not like or trust.

If you decide to give therapy a go I hope your journey into your inner depths will be a rich and rewarding experience.

Image: cia

 

 

 

 

 

 

Filed Under: Mental Health Tagged With: , , , , , , , , ,

When words are not enough; how can we help the bereaved?

December 17, 2012 by Leave a Comment

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When a loved one dies, nothing makes sense anymore. Your world and everything in it has changed, your feelings are in chaos and you will never be the same again.

After the death of both my parents, I felt a deep sense of sadness, loss, shock, anger and self-pity. But I am not sure that I could ever imagine what it must be like to bury a child.

The massacre that took place in America recently is a horrendous business especially for the parents left behind.

The loss of a child is the kind of death most feared and agonised over. Parents do not expect to outlive their children. The death of a child cuts off all expectations, future hopes and dreams.

All I can say is that everyone grieves differently. Everyone has the right to deal with their own grief as best they can. There are no right or wrong ways.

Bereavement is about gut-wrenching pain, crying, loneliness and emotional exhaustion. There is nothing that I can say to make the grief of death more palatable. There is no way to dress it up.

How can we help the bereaved?

There is nothing that you can say that will be helpful. The only thing you can do is to listen to their pain, and be there for them. A good listener does not offer advice or make judgements.

Listen to their anguish, listen to their anger, listen to their feelings of loss and accept them as they are. Do not counter their grief with your own experiences, that is not helpful.

The bereaved must not feel isolated or have to apologise for reacting as they do. Explosions of anger and emotional outbursts are normal and need to find an outlet. They should not have to edit their emotions for your sake.

Practical help such as shopping and cooking may be really helpful in the early days of bereavement. But this must be something that they must want you to do. Any help that you give must be given on their terms with love, empathy and respect.

There is no known formula to help their suffering only maybe time, lots of time.

Grief is a long and complicated process and the road to recovery must be at the pace of the bereaved.

 

 

 

Filed Under: Mental Health Tagged With: , , ,

Do you have the guts to do a ‘Julia’ and stick it to the men in your lives?

November 1, 2012 by Leave a Comment

 Many women secretly and not so secretly loved the way Julia Gillard stuck it to Tony Abbot last week. It would seem that women would love to stand up to the men in their lives like that, but the shame of it is that they do not have the guts.

Julia Gillard, on the other hand, clearly does. I am impressed with the way she handled herself in this speech and throughout her term as prime minister. It can’t have been easy.

She is self-reliant rather than dependent, active rather than passive and clearly motivated by her personal and political passions. And because she is female she has been a target for the most vitriol abuse, which the majority of the Australian public is simply not aware.

There comes a time in every woman’s life when she must take a stand against sexism and misogyny and now is that time. If Julia can do it so can you.

Feminism is more than a memory. The gender inequalities between men and women are as real today as they ever been and yet it would seem that the majority of Australian women are oblivious to or do not have the guts to stand up for their own diminishing rights.

Women may have won the right to equal pay way back in 1969 but the reality is that here in 2012 women’s pay packets sadly lag behind their male counterparts. The latest figures show that the average gender pay gap stands at 17.4 % with West Australian women topping the table at a whopping 25.8%.

Women have been victims of male violence since time immemorial. And as a direct result of the changeover from a patriarchal society to a more egalitarian, woman conscious society, violence against women is increasing. Is this the price we must pay for the equality we don’t yet have?

Male violence against women takes many forms from the more obvious extreme acts of murder, physical and sexual assault, to the more hidden acts of verbal, social, financial, psychological and emotional violence which undermines a woman’s belief in herself.

Gender imbalances are still rife throughout Australian society for those who choose to open their eyes. There is a systemic misogyny throughout all institutions with men still dominating the law, politics, the church, the police, the military, and the work place and, in many cases, the family.

We may have a female prime minister and a female governor general but they are the exceptions rather than the norm. Ok, we have made some gains, women are more in control of their lives now than they have ever been, but if it was men seeking equality it would have happened by now. Any gains that feminism has achieved over the years are not being consolidated, or advanced, on quickly enough.

The facts are simply this:

  • Women cannot live in their homes safely
  • Women cannot walk the streets of Australia safely
  • Women do not get paid equal wages for equal work
  • Women in the workforce are subject to sexual harassment and innuendo
  • Women are under represented in senior leadership and management positions
  • Women do not have access to affordable child-care

Feminism and legislation have not challenged society enough to warrant change and women have become complacent.

We need to do a ‘Julia’ and have the guts to stand up for ourselves and speak out when we see sexism and misogyny at play in our lives. 

Is this memorable speech by Julia Gillard going to sink to oblivion within a few weeks to simmer on the back burner where most women’s issues sit? Or can it be a catalyst for change?

Women’s anger and courage is needed to continue the seemingly endless battle for equality, which can only be fought and won in the psyches of men and women within the home and without.

It is only then that the structural gender inequalities inherent in this patriarchal world will be addressed for men can only get away with what women allow.

 

 

 

Filed Under: Motivation, Personal Development Tagged With: , , , , ,

What happens when your kids let you down? Are you setting your child up to fail?

October 18, 2012 by Leave a Comment

What happens when your kids let you down? Are you setting your child up to fail?

How is little Johnny? Is he well behaved at school? Does he always do his homework? Will he be captain of the footie team next term? Does he keep his room neat and tidy?

Or maybe it is little Jessie? Is she the best little ballet dancer in the school? Does she just love to help you in the kitchen? Is she going to take after her mother and become a lawyer?

And how about you? What sort of person are you? Are you always looking to see how your kids are performing at school? Do you glow with pride when they come home from school with an A grade report? Are you cheering from the sidelines when they win races in the school carnival?

Maybe this type of behaviour seems pretty normal to you. You are just encouraging your child to be as good as she can be. You are supporting her in her quest to be top of her class.

But watch out. What happens when little Johnny or little Jessie let you down?

If you watch perfectionist parents with their children, when their children fail, or do something naughty, the shame and disappointment in the parents’ faces is there for all to see . A child’s failure is an intensely emotional experience for the perfectionist parents especially when it occurs in public. And no one feels the shame more acutely than the child.

When your child does well, you believe that you are a good parent and when your child does badly you immediately think that you are a bad parent. But it isn’t about you and your perfectionist attitudes, it is about your child being allowed to be ‘good enough’.

Allow your child to be the person she is instead of having to live up to your unrealistic standards. Many parents think that in order  for their children to be better or smarter they need to be pushed. If she only  does ‘good enough’ the perfectionist parent is there saying things like “ I know you can do better,” or “ Just try a little harder.”

Unfortunately children pick up on this ‘encouragement’ as criticism. They hear the words “You could do better.”  Which means you are not good enough. They do not hear a positive side to this message, if there was one.

Children must be loved unconditionally and praised for who they are not what they do.

When the child hears ‘helpful advice‘ she hears criticism. She feels that she will never be good enough to meet the needs of her perfectionist and often narcissist parents. And she  spends most of her life trying to meet the needs of others and mostly failing.

Your child needs to know that it is ok  for her to fail and that you still love and support her despite the failings. Because failing and making mistakes is a necessary lesson in life. Your child will  learn far more from her mistakes than from her successes. And when she doesn’t always do as well as she might, you need to be there for her, so you can soften the blow.

It is imperative that you separate out praise for an action versus acceptance of your child.

Will your child reach adult hood believing she is not good enough?

Are you setting your child up to fail?

image: liveitupwithus

Filed Under: Mental Health, Personal Development Tagged With: , , ,

Are you investing in yourself? 10 Powerful ways to rock your self- confidence.

October 11, 2012 by Leave a Comment

As a baby you were born with all the confidence in the world but as you grew your confidence was stolen from you. Many people appear to be confident. They put themselves out there, they smile and say all the right things and yet, believe it or not, inside they are not so confident.

They do doubt themselves, they do have fears and anxieties, hell they even get depressed. And yet despite this they are trying to act confidently in their lives and grow their confidence.

  1. Be responsible for your own life. Do not blame other people for your lack of confidence, empower yourself and do what you need to do to grow your confidence. Can you think of a time when you didn’t take responsibility for yourself? What happened?
  2. Take a class or a course. A lack of confidence is often due to a lack of experience or knowledge. Educate yourself.
  3. Follow your passion. What really turns you on? You cannot help but be confident when following your passion.
  4.  Read books about topics that interest you. Build up your general knowledge.
  5.  Catch up with some of your old school chums that you haven’t seen in a while. Have a great time reminiscing and talking over where you are now and listen in to where they are also. You may find that they are all lacking in confidence in some areas of their lives. Ask for support in growing your confidence and give support back.
  6. Take up a new hobby or career, something that you have always wanted to do but never felt confident enough. Push through the self-doubt and fear, remember action overcomes fear.
  7. Write your way to confidence. Begin a confidence journal where you can express all your thoughts and doubts on your confidence issues. Sometimes just writing about how we feel about ourselves releases our inner confidence.
  8. Do what people say you cannot do. Be a rebel. Did your parents ever tell you that you could never do something? Spite them and do it.
  9. Learn to laugh at yourself. Accept yourself as you are and laugh at your faults, no one is perfect.
  10. Be positive about your achievements and do not compare yourself to others, you are your own unique person.

 An investment  in growing your self-confidence is an investment in your whole life.

Are you investing in your self- confidence?

This is your life we are talking about.

What kinda things are you doing to  rock your self- confidence?

let me know below,

cheers

Carole

 

 

 

 

 

Filed Under: Motivation, Personal Development Tagged With: , , , ,

Australian retailers have captured Christmas

September 26, 2012 by Leave a Comment

Christmas is coming and the shops are  already stocked with Christmas fare. But Christmas can be a really bad time for many people.

The older I get, my distaste for the routinely superficial Christmas spending frenzy that begins in August and continues  on until January, increases. Today the Christmas season is all about spending vast amounts of money, we really can’t afford, on people we hardly ever see, and eating vast amounts of food that we do not really want. Christmas is a time when the economy is booming and the people are broke.

I’d like to bin this tinsel Christmas, where there is no Christ, and replace it with a slower paced celebration where families take time to be together, to enjoy each other, in a tradition of fantasy and spirituality.  I yearn to recreate the magical memories of Christmas past.

I remember the cold sting of an English winter and the smells of my mother’s baking a few days before the holiday: hot short crust pastry stuffed with pork sausage-meat and sage and onion, fruity mince pies, and a Christmas cake laced with brandy. I remember my father bringing home a living pine tree and a fresh, free-range 20lb turkey on Christmas Eve that fed us for a week. The only time I  think that my father was truly happy was at Christmas as he directed my mother on the best ways to cook the bird.

I remember the Salvation Army brass band playing Christmas carols down the street and the collection box moving from home to home. And the miracle of midnight mass, one year, when the snow fell silently whilst we were inside the church. I walked home arm in arm with my mother, treading the fresh white snow singing ‘ Good King Wenceslas’ under the stars. A magical memory.

Up until I was 13, I still believed in Father Christmas and the wonder of an old man skimming the rooftops to deliver toys to all the children. My brother and I would leave him a nip of brandy and some sausage rolls for his supper and no matter how hard we tried we could not keep awake. It was my mother who kept the fantasy and rituals of Christmas alive as I also did with my children.

Many families dread Christmas because they do not have the funds to provide children with the latest gadgets and computer games that a materialistic society deems they should have. The power of advertising and the incentives of easy credit and shops, open to all hours, prey on the vulnerable. And after Christmas the stress of high interest rates, high fuel bills, credit cards to the max, and the high cost of food destroys many families.

Long after we are gone, our children will remember the happy times and holidays spent with family well over how much money was spent on them. Love cannot be bought. Sadly, I speak to many young and not so young people today who want to create the warm and loving family that they never had.

To preserve the magic and mysteries of Christmas for our children and grandchildren we all need to look to the past and re-create a homemade Christmas where love, fantasies and rituals take precedent over how many dollars pass through the checkouts.

What do you think about Christmas today? Do you prefer a more old fashioned Christmas or do you love the commercial Christmas of today.

Please share your thoughts in the comments section and  if you think this article has merit, share it below on your favourite social media.

Thanks

Carole

 

 

 

 

Filed Under: Motivation Tagged With: , , ,
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